(That Red Underwear)

(Dedicated to all my cousins, aunts and Mallu friends)

Appachan’s (grandfather’s) room was forbidden territory for all his 7 children. But when he went to work my two Uncles who were the youngest invaded his territory, for any cigarettes, goodies to eat and this and that. When we grandchildren went for holidays then there more chances of goodies like toffees, and bakery stuff to be found in Appachan’s room. Ammachi’s wooden box in the kitchen was open to all so not safe at all.

That day I and my youngest Uncle (Johnny chayan as I addressed him) were at home while all other children were either missing or gone to school. He was holding a durbar in Appachan’s room with some of his neighboring friends and I made a mental note to report this when I had a score to settle with him. However, he had promised me several treats, so I was in no hurry.

It was nearing lunch time when all of my Uncle’s friends had left . Suddenly Sabu (name changed) one of our neighbours walked in from the paddy fields and the pepper plants calling out – Johnny? Come in ! said Johnny chayan but Sabu refused saying he was not going to enter Appachan’s room. Don’t worry said Uncle c’mon in, I am doing some important work today and Appachan won’t be back till late evening. Today he will distribute salaries to his staff so experience tells me he will come back only by sun set.

Sabu was older to my Uncle and a very simple village man. I had always seen him toiling in the fields with a towel around his waist and no shirt. Today he came in a mundu (Dhoti in hindi) and a shirt. His father had died when he was young, so he dropped out of school to fend for his family of four. Farming was their only source of income and he hardly had any exposure outside his field. He used to talk to this Uncle of mine more often, than to others and sometimes came over for advice.

Reluctantly Sabu came in and I was all ears. I had nothing else to do as mom and Ammachi were at the other end of the house in the kitchen, making rose cookies and banana chips to take back home to Delhi. Maria was in the field with her husband Thomacchan helping him to cut unripe plantains and pull-down ripe coconuts.

Ahn Sabu! All ready for marriage my Uncle greeted Sabu in a colloquial manner? The very serious Sabu smiled but replied with a worried look – only two days left, and I haven’t bought what I need to wear for the marriage. What is the big deal replied Uncle – white shirt and white Mundu, is the tradition and you cant deviate from that . These girls he said looking at me dismissively are very expensive for marriage. But we men don’t have a choice he shook his head. No that is not the thing, continued Sabu and hesitated looking at me. Don’t worry she is okay, she is my ally said Uncle.

Reassured Sabu asked Jonny chayan in a small voice – white Mundu and white shirt is clear but what colour underwear should I wear? Jonny chayan was quick to catch an opportunity and he spontaneously replied – what is there to think about, since it is a wedding let us go for a Red underwear , and smiled encouragingly.

I was at that time 6 or 7 and I knew nothing of what was going on. Excited with an answer to his main worry Sabu queried again it is ok to wear red na ? Of course, said Uncle, these girls dress up so much and we can’t experiment much with the colour of our shirt and mundu because  it has to be pure white, but we can do with our underwear.

Sabu was reassured. He trusted and believed in Johnny chayan. As he was walking out, he repeated – so white shirt and white mundu with a red underwear inside. Fantastic said Johnny chayan, you have a good memory go ahead and as you pass by our house on the way to the church, we will join you from here.

When Sabu was gone Jonny chayan looked at me and said if you keep this to yourself, I will take you to the far away ghost house near Sarah Checchi’s house. At that age, I did not know understand what I was supposed to keep as a secret, but I was getting a good deal so gave my nod. The ghost house was an attractive proposition mainly because it was forbidden territory by Appachan and Ammachi.

On the day of Sabu’s marriage, we did not take much time to decide what to wear. it was a simple farmers wedding and in the nearby church and none of our cousins or family would be there. So, my aunts did not have to show off their dresses.  

Those days in Kerala the bride or bridegroom from ordinary families did not travel by car to the church, the marriage procession simply walked to the nearest church which would be at a maximum distance of 2 km from each village. Unlike the modern-day Indian Barat, the marriage procession was a toil on foot. Ammachi wore a new white munddu (women’s dhoti) and a chatta (blouse) and wrapped a beautiful golden ‘kavani’ (drape on upper part of the body) draped across her upper body and pinned at the back. She wore this Kavani only on special occasions. For Sunday church she would wear a simple white polyester kavani.  She pinned on a beautiful broach to her blouse and was ready.

Mom was not going, and neither was Appachan. From our side both my aunts, two younger Uncles and Ammachi and I were getting ready. Ammachi asked my aunts to make me ready. So, I wore a pink dress and then my aunts between them managed to make me a scarecrow. My eyebrows were made thicker with kanmashi (Kajal/Kohl) making me look like a dragon but that was the practice. The eyes were elongated to look like a pomfret fish with wings. The way powder was put on the face was an art. They would pour it on one hand clap with the other rub it with both the hands and smear on the face.

At that age even when I could not recognize myself in the mirror it did not bother me much. So, I had a white face and brown hands and legs.  However, if anyone thought I was a scarecrow Ammachi threw it out of the window by giving me a kiss and loudly saying my muttu (gem) is looking so pretty. It was high time Ammachi should have worn glasses, but she never did till she passed away.

We were all waiting in the veranda of the house waiting for the marriage procession to pass by the well on the side of our house to join the procession. The walk to the church was beautiful and scenic. There was the brook on both the sides and greenery of all kinds on both the

Sabu appeared with a bouquet of flowers in the traditional white mundu and shirt, with his family and friends following him in a small procession. Come said Ammachi let us join the procession. As soon as we joined my two Aunt’s started giggling looking at something in front and Ammachi suppressed a smile. What happened? I asked Ammachi but she shrugged and said chumma (nothing) and again smiled.  It is only after a couple of years I realised what had happened. Underneath the white mundu the prominent red underwear was clearly visible. Sabu had heeded to Uncle’s advice. My aunts kept on giggling and Johnny chayan had a full plan laid out.

It was a good half an hour walk to the church and in between my Uncle would whisper to me – go and ask Sabu in his ears if he is wearing the red underwear? I would run in between the people, reach Sabu, ask him to bend down and ask in a small voice if he is wearing the red underwear and he would smile and nod. Once or twice he looked back to look at my Uncle and wave his hand reassuring him that the underwear was very much in place. If I remember correctly, I was made to this exercise at least 5 times during the walk to the church. Once Ammachi asked me what made me run to Sabu and I said chumma (nothing) evening out the score with her.

We reached the church and Sabu walked over to stand at the altar by the side of his bride who was clad in a white and golden saree and veil. We had a good glimpse of the couple from behind and I think there were continuous giggles and chuckles that day with the small gathering. The bridegroom’s white shirt and Mundu and the prominent red underwear clearly was the talk of the day. And to think I had a role to play in this?

The marriage ceremony ended and while we were walking back Uncle beckoned me and said – go and tell Sabu not to take off the red underwear for at least 2 days. I did exactly that. When we reached our home, we said bye to Sabu, his wife and family and went inside. The procession walked on further to Sabu’s house. When they had passed by at a safe distance from our house my aunt’s and Johnny chayan broke into peels of laughter and chuckles? What made him wear a red underwear my younger aunt remarked. Hey girl let your father not hear you talking about men’s underclothes or you will get it, said Ammachi. Johnny chayan looked at me and signalled that I should keep my mouth shut.

But there was something really amusing about the incident, because Ammachi crossed over to Appachan sitting on the veranda and whispered something to him in his ears. Appachan spat out the betel leaf he was chewing into the kolambi and had a throaty chuckle.

The next day Sabu came to our house in the afternoon asking for Johnny chayan. I was listening while my Uncle looked at his mundu and asked, I hope you are still wearing the red underwear? Aaahn ? questioned Sabu with his mouth open and continued –  well no actually he smiled shyly and looked down and said – I was but I had to na Johnny because , you know what and he fumbled. What said Johnny chayan in mock anger, I sent you a message that you are supposed to do everything wearing the red underwear for two days? Now see what harm you have done? Sabu’s face was in confusion as Jonny continued – the bridegroom’s underwear cannot be removed under any circumstances for at least two days – yes yes even for that!  It is inauspicious! Now go away and if anything, undesirable happens don’t say that I had not warned you.

Sabu turned back confused and disappointed and walked away. He certainly didn’t want any thing bad to happen just when he had got married.

It was only after a few years when I grew up that I understood the funny side of the whole episode. I could never forgive my Uncle not only for fooling poor simple Sabu on his wedding day but involving me too.